Power, Love, and Self-Control

"I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions." -Stephen Covey

Many weeks ago in my personal life, I was blamed for something I did not do. If you have had this happen, you know it can be heart-wrenching. My first emotions were anger and hurt. I wanted to talk to those involved and make it clear that I was not the one that had done this. But, instead, I have been involved with an ongoing conversation with God about how to handle this. If I were to state my case to the persons who accused me, I will then put another dear person in the line of fire. I have sat down and written four separate letters trying to express myself, but each letter has been shredded before mailing. I continue to ask myself, "What is the true purpose of the letter?" Each time I shred the letter, I feel and hear God asking me, "Will confronting the situation help anyone? What is your goal?"  

Confrontation is tough for most of us. For years, confrontation ended in one of two ways for me. I would either cry and walk away because I couldn't handle it, or I would allow myself to get into an angry conversation where I felt terrible about myself afterwards sending me into a depressed state. Walking away was always easiest for me. I could hibernate and try to forget what happened, but let's be honest, that is difficult to do and really doesn't work. Anger never seems to solve anything. It is like a fire starter, and fire has one purpose to take something that was and change it to something different or destroy everything that once existed. Healthy confrontation is led by the goal to find peace. So, I have started asking myself these questions about confrontation before going into it, "What is the true purpose or goal of this? Am I seeking peace?"

Paul writes in 2 Timothy: 7, "For God did not give us the spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power and love, and self-control." NRSV Maybe God's message here is that we can't always be passive, but instead we need to go to Him for the power, love, and self-control to handle our lives in a way that brings Him honor and praise. For now, I am praying for God to give me the wisdom to trudge forward. I want to address the situation in a way that honors God in my thoughts, words, and actions. I will seek the power, love, and self-control He is expecting of me. As I move forward, let me be a product of the decision I make with His help rather than a victim of my circumstances.

Let us pray,

Gracious Father,

Help us seek Your purpose in all that we do. Guide us with wisdom to handle confrontation with dignity and strength. May the only power we seek is the power to be Your witnesses of peace.

Amen