Answer me quickly, O Lord; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me,
or I shall be like those who go down to the Pit.
Let me hear of your steadfast love in the morning,
for in you I put my trust.
Teach me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.
Psalm 143:7-8 NRSV
Packed away in the closet the blue bag sits undisturbed. It isn't locked or zippered shut, but yet it seems impossible to open. The closet door opens and shuts, and a little part of me wants to peek inside, but the agonizing fact remains that for some reason I cannot bring myself to touch or open that blue bag.
The blue bag is filled with printed accomplishments, awards, and notes of gratitude and thanks. Yet, why does it seem so untouchable? After all, I have worked hard to obtain all the contents in the blue bag that once found a home in my office. Each says I gave my best and was recognized for my efforts.
Maybe it's not what is inside the blue bag that is causing distress, but in reality it is the fact that the blue bag no longer goes on its daily journey back and forth to work. It has sat motionless for months. The blue bag had no idea that its last days were going to end so abruptly. I think in reality, the blue bag knew that the day was coming when I was going to say good-bye. It knew my principles couldn't allow me to continue the journey I was on. The heartache of no longer having a job that one loved and worked so hard to succeed at, is hard to explain until you have walked the walk.
Sometimes, regardless of how much energy and dedication we put into something, we can find ourselves devastated in an instant. The shock and surprise can destroy the confidence and emotional stability. After all, how does one tell others that deep inside they feel like they have been defeated? Why did this happen? How does one move on?
Today, I am reminded by the Psalmist that in the midst of my feelings of despair, that if I put my full trust in the Lord, that indeed, I will be led and taught to navigate a new direction in my life. I find comfort in knowing my soul can be lifted by a loving God.
And most importantly for me to remember is that inside that blue bag is a reflection of the person I am. A person who strives to do their best in all circumstances. For those that care and call me friend and family, I have to trust that they look inside my heart and realize that I gave my best. The dormant blue bag gathering dust in the closet is a symbol that life is filled with difficult stages and in order to move on, one has to have faith in a God that is bigger than one's self.
Maybe it's time to empty the blue bag and refill it with new accomplishments as I pray for a new direction. It will take courage and determination. I trust that God will lift my soul before it falls to the pit.
Gracious Father,
At times, our lives take twists and turns that confuse us. Thank You for the reminder that You can lead and teach us when a new direction is needed.Our trust is in You. Grant us the courage and determination to move forward in all circumstances. Help us learn from the journey and become stronger in faith as we turn to You.
Amen
