Who Are Your Friends?

"Dear friend, when you extend hospitality to Christian brothers and sisters, even when they are strangers, you make the faith visible. They've made a full report back to the church here, a message about your love. It's good work you're doing, helping these travelers on their way, hospitality worthy of God himself! They set out under the banner of the Name, and get no help from unbelievers. So they deserve any support we can give them. In providing meals and a bed, we become their companions in spreading the Truth."~3 John 1:5-8 MSG

Who are your friends? Seems like a simple question to answer, but recently during a Sunday sermon I found myself conflicted about how I would answer it. This question has haunted me for the past couple of weeks. The dictionary definition of friend is quite broad. It can be as simple as an acquaintanceship to someone you trust. Trust is at the core of lasting friendship in my life.When others check out my Facebook page, some may conclude that I must have lots of friends. However, I realize that within this group, I would need to use all the dictionary definitions to allude to why each person is on my "friend" list. I also find myself pondering this second question, "Who do I really trust with my inner most thoughts?" Yes, there are people from grade school to most every walk of life I've journeyed. But, how do I answer those two questions?

The American Social Review reported in the June 2006 issue that since 1985, 25% of Americans have no close friends, and the average number of close friends had dropped from four to two in that same time period for the other 75%. In November 2011, Matthew Brashears, an assistant professor from Cornell University, conducted a study that found of 2000 college students the average number of close friends was 2.03. This at an age when it seems friendships would be abundant and easily made. What's happening? In the Facebook era, you would think that we have come to know each other better than ever before, but instead we're becoming more isolated and alone in this world. Maybe it's easier to be a friend on paper or a computer than it is in real life? 

I began to evaluate by sorting my friends into groups. First, I thought about who I could count on in a tragedy. I counted six close friends that I knew I could call any hour of the day or night, and I believe they would be there. Now, with 399 friends on Facebook, that is a pretty small group. The irony is that three of the six I counted aren't on Facebook! I was questioning the purpose of Facebook connections at that point. But, then I decided to think about the group in who would act on a prayer request in my life. The numbers shot up, and I felt really blessed to have so many people that would care enough to intercede with prayer. I was starting to feel a little better about Facebook. Last, but not least, I thought about God laying the names, needs, and joys of friends that I've met throughout my life on my heart, so that I could pray for them when a post generated the opportunity to do so. Finally, the conflict and dilemma about whether Facebook had any real purpose in my life was calming within me. I could see God had a purpose to keep me connected. 

Yes, we travel along in this life meeting new people, making new friends, and learning more about life through each of them. Deep and true friendship takes a humble heart. In order to develop a close friendship, you have to be able to listen, understand even when you don't agree, care even when it hurts, love even when love isn't earned, and forgive even when you feel hurt. That takes a lot of energy! It's fun and easy to laugh together or share a Sunday pew together, but to be a real friend it takes so much more. If we can find our way to true friendship whether it be two or six, we should be thankful for the gift. We should also be thankful for those extended friendships with people that care enough to pray, hug, and love us in ways that lift us through the joys and trials of life.

The Bible verses from 3 John remind us that when it comes down to it, we are to be a friend to those around us even if they are strangers. They might not appreciate us or ever get to know us, but God knows that we are reflecting His love to others every time we extend any element of love and care in another person's direction.

Finally, I have found a little peace about Facebook friends. Yes, in some ways, some are strangers from my past, but each is a special child of God that somewhere along the way God may need me to step up and be His servant in an unexpected way. I find myself back at that key word: trust. If I truly trust God, He will use me in ways that don't always make sense to me, but in ways He needs me to be a friend to others. Reminds me of the song, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus." I guess that's the model of the most endearing friendship we can seek in our lives.

Heavenly Father,

As we strive to be a friend to others, help us understand that sometimes a friend can be a stranger or one of our closest friends. Remind us that our purpose in this world is to make our faith in You visible to others. Even if we find ourselves alone and isolated at times, we know that we have a friend in You and no one can ever separate us from Your friendship.

Amen

Take Back the Wheel

"By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires."~2 Peter 1:2-4 NLT


After spending the day with my grandson (age 3), I stopped to smile and think of some of his observations and curiosities about life. After some discussion about baseball teams, he informed me that Aunt Sherry is a Hawkeye fan. He said even though cats like to eat little birds, Hawkeyes aren't good for us to eat. Looking into his precious dark brown eyes, it took all the energy inside myself to not laugh out loud. I  replied that I agreed, and I, too, doubted that Hawkeyes would be very healthy for us to eat. 


The mind is an interesting place. One thought leads us to another, and the discussion can change in an instant. What we fill our minds with on a daily basis is similar to an interstate filled with ramps to enter and exit as we go. The daily main route is usually from point A to point B, but the ramps we choose often have many deviations. 


The road well traveled is that road where we feel comfortable like Interstate 80 from Chicago to Denver. You can almost put the car on cruise for the entire trip, and you have a good idea of what your surroundings will be and how to cope with them along the way. Few surprises are bound to pop up. You stay in the car except for an occasional food, restroom, or gas stop, but nothing really exciting happens. Often in our daily lives, we can be on that same trip. We find ourselves going through the motions with little thought about how the day progresses. Have we given up the wheel of direction?


A decade or two back, I decided to start taking back the wheel. I realized that what I watch, what I listen to, what I read, what I admire, and what I love can be strengthened when I make better choices. The more I filled my mind with God's word, prayed throughout my day, made better choices, and loved more unconditionally, I was amazed to find that my life and my thought patterns were changing. For example, every time we pick a television show, we are filling our minds with thoughts and ideas.  I started really thinking about what I absorb in my daily life. I made little changes like listening to Christian radio to help me think and dwell more in my relationship with God. As I tried to make better choices in all areas of my life, I could feel I was growing closer to God. 


I'm not saying I don't enjoy some good old rock and roll, or that I don't laugh myself silly at movies that really aren't morally sound on occasion, but what I'm saying is that I began to be more aware of the choices I was making. It's somewhat like a diet. We all know what is good for our bodies, but once in a while that ice cream sundae looks too good to resist, and honestly it's a joy to have one along the way. The point is that the diet keeps one on a healthy track, just as our choices each day keep us on track spiritually.


So, like my grandson, our thoughts tend to travel in all different directions. He hears stories about Cubs, Cardinals, Illini, and Hawkeyes, and comes to a conclusion that isn't of sound reasoning, but it's the way he's absorbed things around him at his tender age. As adults, the more we focus on and choose what we soak in each day, the more sound our perspective becomes as well. We need to take back the wheel on this interstate highway of life, so that we become deeply rooted in and devoted to what means the very most to us in our lives.


Heavenly Father,


Each day we make choices about what we absorb around us. Help us to take back the wheel as you help us steer in Your direction. Remind us that even the little choices we make throughout the day can make a big difference.


Amen.

The Seemingly Impossible, Possible!

"They were just trying to intimidate us, imagining that they could discourage us and stop the work. So I continued the work with even greater determination."~Nehemiah 6:9-10


Over the past few months, my husband and I have been studying the Book of Nehemiah. Nehemiah was quite an interesting man in the Bible. He was able to do things that seemed impossible, but he found possible through God. The lessons in this book of the Bible are endless, and so each time we read and reread, we find a new treasure nestled in scripture.


I thought of Nehemiah yesterday morning. I'm an early riser, and as I sat at my computer, I heard the vertical patio blinds behind me tap together. I thought it was Rosie, our family cat, but she was no where in sight. (She weighs over 14 pounds, so you can't miss her.)  About five minutes later, I heard the noise again, but still turned and saw no movement of any kind. 


What happened next couldn't be made up unless, you're a very talented writer. Across the floor faster than a child on a slip n' slide came a field mouse right past me. I should let you know that I am deathly afraid of mice. I screamed and my pulse rate doubled in a matter of seconds. The field mouse began a very strange configuration doing figure eights across the floor repeatedly; first going behind a couch in our family room, and then back through the kitchen around the table by the patio door. I didn't know what to do. He wouldn't stop.


Living next to the woods in an older house lends favor to mice finding the tiniest holes to come in and want to make themselves at home. Normally, the only mice I see are two or three we catch in traps during the winter. My husband is always the faithful trap cleaner, so I don't deal with the problem. But, there I stood screaming and standing on a chair with a mouse doing figure eights over and over again.


My first instinct, was to pray, "Lord, please help me figure this out." So, I prayed. I then called Rosie who had been sleeping on the job, and she came immediately. She seemed as stunned as I did watching the mouse go back and forth over and over again. I had hoped she would grab the mouse and end the problem, but, instead she just watched. So there we stood gawking at the mouse with an occasional scream to add to the scene.


And then, I came up with a plan. I opened the patio door about 3 inches wide, and as Rosie stood on one side of the table near the door, I placed myself on the opposite side hoping that somehow the mouse would consider going out the door instead of running right past me. It seemed like an impossible plan, but it was all I could come up with at that moment.


Well, seconds later, the mouse came between us on the figure eight course it had been traveling. It didn't know what to do as I stood in its path. It tried jumping up on the wall and came to realize that it wasn't able to climb. Rosie took a step closer to it as I closed in from the other side, and what happened next was absolutely unbelievable. The mouse dashed out the patio door onto the deck and ran for its life!


Sometimes things happen in our lives unexpectedly, and our first reaction is to believe we don't have the strength, courage, or knowledge to deal with it. Now granted a mouse in the house isn't a very serious problem, but there were valuable lessons for me to soak up from this experience. I found that I could overcome the fear of dealing with mice when the job fell on my shoulders. I learned that I could come up with creative solutions in the midst of chaos. Most of all, I was reminded that God is there for me to go to anytime that I don't know what to do. 


Nehemiah had great things to accomplish for God's people, but he counted on God to guide him one step and one day at a time. Most would have thought that his goals were impossible, but they soon learned that Nehemiah was counting on God as God was counting on Nehemiah, and the once thought impossible had become possible before their very eyes.


So, whether our problems are small or seem impossible, it's important to remember that with God, we navigate our way through them. I couldn't pray the mouse away, but I could pray for the Way to guide me. I found out that I'm stronger than I thought I was, and maybe, I'm a little less afraid of mice today than I was yesterday. 


Heavenly Father,


You are the Way, the Truth, and the Life that provides us with all we need to handle whatever comes our way. Whether the situation be small or overwhelming, help us to learn that leaning on you will help us tap into strength we may not yet know we have within us.


Amen.

Motherhood: An Undeserved Privilege

"Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love."~Romans 5:1-5




Mother's Day is one of those days that I focus on how thankful I am that my husband and I were blessed to have children. It's also a time I think back about becoming a mother and the loving responsibility this gift has laid on my heart.


As a child in elementary school, I remember the career books in the little three room school library that I attended were a little different than what you would find today. The boy's and girl's career books contained stereotypical choices  that were once thought to be only appropriate for men or women. The books today are much broader and encourage children to look at any and all career choices, but I'll never forget a book that I checked out numerous times. The book showed careers for girls, and inside the pages was a wife and mother caring for her family. It was considered a career choice. I wish I still had access to that book because it would be delightful to peek inside those pages once again.


Even as a young child, I dreamed of having a family, and I prayed regularly that someday I could become a mom. That is what I wanted more than words can express. After graduating from high school, my husband and I were married.  Two weeks after our first wedding anniversary came a surprise bundle of joy that has forever changed our lives. I remember that intense feeling of love that was something so different than I had never experienced before. I knew from that moment on that this child was a miracle and a gift. 


Yes, we were young parents, but our love for God and this precious little girl, developed into a beautiful family. Three years later, our rambunctious little boy was born, and together, our little family, faced the joys and trials of life together. Often times, I feel uncomfortable telling others that we had our children so young, but in reality, it was all a part of God's plan to keep us on the right path. His plan for us to grow closer to Him was intricately woven in ways that I'd love to explain, but won't fit in this blog.


Parenting takes a lot of wisdom, and having God to turn to 24/7 led us through the storms of cars, boyfriends, girlfriends, peer pressure, heartaches, discouragement, disappointments, school, college, health issues, and uncertainty. I wish I could say I handled everything the best way it could have been handled, but in reality I failed many times. God's grace reminds me that even my failures are all part of the parenting educational process. Thank goodness for the gift of grace! I was learning as I went. But, as I look back our lives were so FULL of joy! My husband and I have loved being parents from the first moment we laid eyes on each of our two children.


So, you may wonder why did I pick these Bible verses to share today when thinking about motherhood? Being a parent and being a child of God are both undeserved privileges. Each teaches us that we have choices that help us develop endurance and character. As parents, the greatest gift we can give our children is raising everything that they are facing and all their needs to God in prayer. As we pray, God will provide wisdom to us and them as we navigate through life. As we grow to trust Him for everything, we will become more confident in His wisdom, and thus developing our own character and ability to trust that somehow we can endure whatever comes our way.


I give praise and thanks to God for the two precious children He entrusted my husband and I the privilege to raise in this sometimes tumultuous world we inhabit. It was an undeserved privilege as is the love God provides for us each moment of our lives. 


As Mother Day approaches, remember that mothers often have a tough job. It's only with God's wisdom that we can overcome the obstacles that will occur in a way that is pleasing to Him. Happy Mother's Day to the moms reading this, and to all those moms that brought you into the world. Wishing you a day filled with joy!!


Tender and Loving Father,


Thank you for the blessing of children that enable your own children to be loving parents. Grant us the gift of wisdom to guide those we love.


Amen.

The Power of the Word(s)

"O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!"~Psalm 139:1-6 NLT


Email has opened up communication in so many different ways. We are able to stay in touch with others with one click of the mouse. Snail mail is used just a fraction of what it once was for correspondence purposes. This instantaneous communication resource leaves us faced with new ways of thinking about the words we choose to communicate and the responsibility that comes with them. 


Communication is the power of words that hold within them the responsibility to represent who we are and what we are trying to reflect to others. If you're like me, you've had that moment when you sent a friend an email that was misunderstood.  As you read back what you wrote, you suddenly began to see how the words may have been misinterpreted. The tone of humor couldn't be felt with that silly line you wrote, or the depth of your pain was looked upon in an accusatory way toward the reader. When a reply is received, you find yourself totally stunned.  How could this person not know me better than this? I wouldn't write something that would reflect that about me. Now,what to do?


Yes, we can find ourselves in trouble with the power of words. It's then, that we must turn to the power of the Word. Fortunately, God knows exactly what we meant in that email, and for that matter in every word we use. He doesn't misinterpret what we are thinking, writing, or saying. Oh dear! Now, that is going to get me in trouble. I continue to find myself saying things I wish I hadn't said, and when I realize that God knows what I said and the reason I said it, I can find myself wishing I could hide from God. But, as the psalmist writes, God's "knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!" He knows everything about me! Everything! Even before I ask for forgiveness, He knows my need for confession and forgiveness before I ask. 


Well, here comes that responsibility part that is often easier to put aside. If God knows us completely, don't we have a responsibility to examine our own hearts as well? Where did those words come from? What motivated us to make the wrong decisions? What allowed us to think that somehow we were more entitled than others? Even the questions are uncomfortable because I've had to ask them many times. The power of God's Word in Proverbs 14:20-22 tells us, "Sensible children bring joy to their father; foolish children despise their mother. Foolishness brings joy to those with no sense; a sensible person stays on the right path. Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success." NLT We know who our main Adviser is,and in order to use the power of words in our lives to represent who we are, or even more importantly who God wants us to be, we need to study His Word to responsibly to stay on the right path. 


Words are such a gift. Each word we choose tells more of a story about who we are than the story we're telling. Don't underestimate the power of choosing not to use words. Some things are truly better left unsaid. So, stop and think about the words you choose to communicate with others and especially those you love. Do your words or lack of them reflect the love of Jesus in you?


Great Adviser,


Guide us through your Word to become more responsible with the words we choose in our daily lives. Let the words we reflect to others be honorable and bring joy to you.


Amen