God Meets Us In The Darkness

"Faith includes noticing the mess, the emptiness and discomfort, and letting it be there until some light returns."~Anne Lamott

Over the past year in Florida, there have been instances of sinkholes opening up and devouring anything in their path. Human life, structures, plants, and animals were shown no mercy as the earth seemed to swallow in a beastly and selfish manner. The sinkholes haven't proven to be prejudice to particular neighborhoods either. Whether it be a theme park hotel, a home, a beautiful beachfront, or a road along the way, the sinkholes were more than willing to swallow with no attached guilt. Sinkholes are something we as humans have no control over. We never know when the earth below could buckle and send our lives spiraling into deep and dark places. 

Life is full of mysteries that continue to puzzle the human mind. Illnesses, accidents, and life altering events continue to leave us wondering why some are taken hostage by the depth of darkness while others seem to escape the clutches of murkiness in their everyday lives. One may never know this answer, but it's important to know that survival is rooted in hope. We are creations with a built in "hope mode" that seeks light in darkness. Hope is at the heart of every survival skill that we come to learn and use in this journey through life. Even if hoped can't be sensed, it's there to tap into at anytime.

The sinkholes of the earth remind me of the invasion of depression in the body. Many people suffering from mental illness might agree that like sinkholes, one doesn't expect mental illness to entrench their life. While everything surrounding those that suffer may in reality be somewhat normal, churning inside the human brain lurks a destructive enemy looking for every opportunity to rob the brain of its normal processing. Dark-colored glasses view the reality of life in a cloudy and unrealistic way. Retreating to a safe place is often a place of isolation where the victim can avoid interaction with others. It's easier not to face others than deal with the illness's side effects that have worked overtime to convince the mind that it is not worthy to dwell with others in the human race. It's a mystery as to how and why this happens, but like the sinkholes, mental illness knows no prejudice. Any mind can become captive to this debilitating disease. 

Most lives encounter some type of dark hole in one way or another. Recognizing the darkness is the first step in battling it. Having faith that God will travel with you through the darkness is what leads to the belief and hope that somehow, some form of light, will glimmer through or overcome the darkness. Anne Lamott may have put it best when she said, "Faith includes noticing the mess, the emptiness and darkness, and letting it be there until some light returns."  The dark holes exist, and they cannot be wished away. Fortunately, our God is in the business of meeting us in the dark holes even if we've sought isolation. He refuses to let us struggle alone. He's there to comfort and lead us as we wander in blindness through the dark valleys. Our job when we encounter the dark places is to count on Him in and through all circumstances. Sometimes, we just have to let the darkness run its course and go into "hope mode."

Let us pray . . . 

Gracious Heavenly Father,

Thank you for the gift of Light that can glimmer through and even overcome the darkness we travel through in this life here on earth. We give thanks that we are never alone regardless of how alone we may feel.

Amen.

Everyone Needs A Coach

     "When Simon Peter saw this (the large number of fish caught in the nets), he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken,  and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners.

     Then Jesus said to Simon, 'Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.' So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him."Luke 5:8-11 NIV

     Running has become a very important part of my life. I know that running helps keep me healthy and strengthens my mind, body, and soul in many different ways. The past few years, I've entered and ran several 5K (3.1 miles) races. This spring however, I set my sights on the Quad Cities Times Bix 7. It is a seven mile world renown road race. The course is very difficult and challenging. It's not for the weak at heart.

     My son is an elite runner, and he is also my personal coach. Some of the things he told me I had to accept, if I decided to run the race included: increasing my mileage during my workouts, increasing the number of miles I ran each week, concentrating on the run rather than the pace, and practicing at the Bix at 6's that are held on four of the Thursdays before the race in the hot summer heat. I also had to listen to directions from my coach. He was adamant that I start walking 5 minutes and then running 5 minutes as I started the transition into gaining more mileage each week. These were the basic training rules he set for me and assured me if I followed them I would be able to run the Bix 7 course. 

     I agreed to follow the preliminary training rules and the journey began. After the first few nights of running 5 minutes and then walking 5 minutes, I began to believe that I knew better than he that I was ready to run faster and longer. As I added the miles, yet not listening to his advice, I found myself exhausted and  wondering how I would ever build up to the 7 mile run. I quickly learned that when I followed and trusted his coaching that he was right. It was amazing how much better I felt and how much stronger I was becoming.
     Everything seemed like it was going perfect until the fall. By the end of May, I had 5 mile run/walks on my weekly calendar. I was increasing my 5 and 5's to 6 and 4's that my coach had approved. I was so excited because I was heading out for my longest run. I was one mile into the run, and then it happened; I fell face first into the rocks and there I lay bleeding from my knees, hands, and shoulder. I was stunned and unable to get up. One knee bled profusely as my husband and I hobbled back the mile to our car. I remember thinking I'm never going to be able to run the Bix 7 now that this has happened.
     The doctor kept me off my deeply cut knee for three weeks. I wanted to give up, but I was in constant prayer about this goal I wanted to reach. Should I just hope that maybe next year I can make this goal, or should I continue you on? Well, with the encouragement of my entire family, I headed back out running a little earlier than the doctor released me to run. I felt like I had lost time and strength. I was humbled and disappointed. However, I refused to give up on the goal
     Well, I stayed the course, followed all the directions from the coach, and on July 27, 2013, I ran all but one minute of the 7 mile challenging course in 83 minutes and 26 seconds. I finished 179th of the 375 women in my age group. It was an overwhelming feeling of joy that words cannot express. My family was there to cheer me on and give those all so important hugs!
     You may ask what does this have to do with this story of Simon Peter and his lack of faith that fish would be caught even as Jesus told him not to give up? I think inside I'm often a lot like Simon Peter. I have a difficult time believing that if I just stay the course that somehow everything will work out in a way that I can understand. I even think Jesus should give up on me. I am sometimes to quick to jump in believing that the obstacles and roadblocks that come my way are there telling me it's time to give up rather than looking at these as challenges that I need to work through or find every way possible to conquer. I also feel like Simon Peter when I find myself on my knees wondering why I didn't trust more in someone who loves me so much. 
     The interesting part of the story is that even when Simon Peter is on his knees, Jesus is there to give him a second chance at something completely different. He tells him that his life is changing course. So, sometimes even when one thing doesn't work out the way we think it will, it may lead to something bigger and even more fulfilling in life. 
     As you start your week, have faith that God will be with  you in every goal you set in your life. He will be our coach guiding us along the way. Sometimes, you will beat the challenges and reach the goal. Sometimes, you may find the challenges are more than you can bear. The most important thing to remember is that in all goals there is a purpose; a way to grow closer to God. Have faith that He is there to help you reach those goals and grace you with second chances in this journey on earth. Everyone needs a coach!

Gracious Heavenly Father,

     Thank you for the gift of determination and goals that help us grow closer to you. May your wisdom be our guide and when we fall, may we fall gently into your arms of grace.

Amen.

        

What Lies at the Heart of the Cause You Support?

"After calling the crowd together with his disciples, Jesus said to them, “All who want to come after me must say no to themselves, take up their cross, and follow me. All who want to save their lives will lose them. But all who lose their lives because of me and because of the good news will save them. Why would people gain the whole world but lose their lives? What will people give in exchange for their lives? Whoever is ashamed of me and my words in this unfaithful and sinful generation, the Human One will be ashamed of that person when he comes in the Father’s glory with the holy angels.”~Mark 8:34-38 CEV

This week has been filled with tragedy. The Boston Marathon bombing, the explosion of the fertilizer plant in West, Texas, the floods in the Midwest, Congress has rejected a bill that would have required background checks for gun purchases at gun shows and on the internet, and on a smaller scale a local school paraprofessional is accused of soliciting a 10 year old girl at school. It leaves some wondering what is happening to the world we inhabit. 

As I think of the events, I feel stirred inside with sympathy, empathy, anger, heartache, sadness, mourning, disappointment, and the list could go on and on. Motivation to choose a cause and do something to make the world a better place gives me a strong sense of connection to this human race even in its dysfunctional demeanor. 

Reading this often heard passage from Mark, I think about Jesus asking us to give our own lives to be a part of His life. So, what does it mean to be a part of His life? Maybe it means to not only take up our cross, but maybe it also means to take up our cause. The cross is all about relationship. It's about the body and blood of Christ that ties us directly to him. We're related through body and blood. Taking up a cause is all about relationship. You find yourself drawn through an emotional relationship to do something outside yourself. You don't need to know someone to be drawn to their needs. Isn't it in some ways what the message about taking up our cross conveys to us? What will we give in exchange for our lives? 

The Holy Spirit takes residence within each of us. The feelings we feel, and the way we react are no surprise to Christ. He's feeling everything we feel.  I often feel prompting from the Holy Spirit to get out of my own comfort zone and do something to help regardless of how small an act it may be. When I take up a cause in my life, I have to first ask myself is this cause in response to relationship, or is it something that benefits only me?  Causes that are based in relationship are causes we give in exchange for our own lives. We give something away with the hope of making life better for someone else in some way. Christ is at the heart of these relationship causes.

You may have found the events of this week have been nudging you to take up a cause to help others.  Maybe it's the Holy Spirit sharing your pain and finding a way for you to exchange your life for the good of another. Christ is counting on us.

Holy Spirit,

Thank you for the gift of emotions that lead us to take up causes that help us learn the value of giving to others.  May the causes we choose show Your Love in all we do.

Amen.

Can We Avoid Conflict? Should We?

"Peter, full of the Holy Spirit, let loose: “Rulers and leaders of the people, if we have been brought to trial today for helping a sick man, put under investigation regarding this healing, I’ll be completely frank with you—we have nothing to hide. By the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, the One you killed on a cross, the One God raised from the dead, by means of his name this man stands before you healthy and whole. Jesus is ‘the stone you masons threw out, which is now the cornerstone.’ Salvation comes no other way; no other name has been or will be given to us by which we can be saved, only this one.” They couldn't take their eyes off them—Peter and John standing there so confident, so sure of themselves! Their fascination deepened when they realized these two were laymen with no training in Scripture or formal education. They recognized them as companions of Jesus, but with the man right before them, seeing him standing there so upright—so healed!—what could they say against that?"~Acts 4:8-12 MSG

Conflict is such an uncomfortable activity to participate in that most people will do anything to avoid it. They will smile and say something kind to avoid conflict, but at times down deep inside they may really feel this overwhelming urge to say something with a drawn disgusting look and maybe articulate some not so nice words. They think the thought, but usually don't talk the talk. Some people may begin stewing over the conflict, as they replay the situation over and over again with what they wished they would have or not have said. 

Growing up, learning about conflict was a lot like one of those great Western movies where everyone ends up in the dirt road that flows in front of the storefronts through the middle of town. I can picture it in my mind. Each person chose a side and fought for their position until only one side either won, or the enemy was eliminated by gunshot. Although that seems a bit dramatic, often conflict plays out the same way in our daily lives. It seems that those representing each side find a way to bully one side or the other until one either gives in or is eliminated from the situation. Compromise is the exception to conflict resolution, because in some ways working through conflict is an art in itself. 

So if working through conflict is an art, how do we take lessons to learn more about it? Not all of us are born with artistic genetics. (I still remember my high school art teacher being speechless as he examined some of my art projects. I guess those talents weren't included in my birth package.)The problem is that conflict arises in most all areas of our lives. So, how do we deal with it? A few years back I met a woman that has taught me a lot about how to deal with conflict, and I have found that facing it with the right mental tools and attitude can produce some of the most honest and caring conversations I have ever had. She asked me to take a leadership position in my job that would throw me into routine conflict. I will be honest in saying that before I met her, I was a complete failure in regards to learning the art of working through conflict. She told me not to fear it, but to welcome it as an opportunity to learn and grow. 

As a supervisor, I find conflict is unavoidable.  I've learned that facing it, face to face, in a caring, fair, and structured manner has changed me in many ways. I no longer fear someone not liking me, because I have finally come to understand that if I am fair and caring, and still not liked, I can't necessarily change that person's opinion of me. It hasn't been easy, and at times it's been absolutely exhausting, but it has brought me great peace that I know how to work through problems more effectively. 

Praying first is an amazing first step. Having the conversation with God first, gives guidance and provides healthy confidence. I've learned that confidence in myself and starting with the known facts is critical to a healthy outcome, but confidence outlined with arrogance and assumptions is never healthy. Not all conflicts work out the way I hope, but there is a remarkable calmness when I know I have stay focused on solving the problem rather than handling it in a way that haunts me with those, "What if I had or hadn't said?" type questions.

Peter and John in the scripture above found themselves in the midst of conflict. They had been thrown in jail for proclaiming Jesus had risen from the dead, and because of this miracle, through Jesus, a sick man was raised from the dead. In a way, there they stood in the Western movie with people from both sides wanting to see a shoot out. Peter and John stood with confidence and the facts they knew. They had been blessed with an amazing confidence that came from God. The rulers saw the crowd's reaction and were taken back by what they perceived as two uneducated men working through God. Peter and John were carrying out Jesus' work here on earth. Some might say a compromise was reached as the story played out. Peter and John were released and carried on their mission to proclaim the gospel to others. They had depended on God and didn't let their fear stop them from moving forward.

I don't think that conflict is ever an easy thing, but I believe it is a necessary part of our lives. As Christians, we want to seek peaceful ways to solve problems. However, it's important to remember that a peaceful resolution doesn't necessarily mean that we always avoid conflict. Handling conflict with the confidence that our Lord and Savior, will help us through it, gives us courage to speak the words of truth that sometimes need to be spoken. So, when conflict comes knocking in your life. Stop. Pray. Be confident. Be fair. Stick to the facts that you know. And finally as the story plays out, compromise when you feel the Holy Spirit nudge you to do so. In the end, there is a good chance you will find peace in the midst of conflict.

Father of Resolution,

As conflict enters our lives, we ask for guidance from your Holy Spirit within us. Help us to work through conflict in a way that reflects Your Love in our lives. Let the shadows of arrogance and assumption fade from the picture so that truth becomes more evident. As the truth becomes more clear, help lead us through resolution. 

Amen

Love Recklessly . . .

“Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you’ll have it forever, real and eternal."~John 12:24-25

I've been blessed to be married to a wonderful loving Christian husband for over 35 years. His sense of understanding the importance of following in Christ's footsteps are a daily reminder to me that a person who diligently tries to follow those footsteps is never alone in their endeavors.  When I come to him with worries and concerns, his eyes and advice often reflect the popular phrase, "What would Jesus do?" He has that affect on me. He helps me turn to Jesus in all circumstances.

In our conversations over the years, we've talked about the possible day when we are not together. We don't know what year, month, day, or hour this will occur, but sadly, we know that the odds of us both leaving this earth together are statistically not probable. We gently tiptoe around the discussion of how we would want the other one to move on and find happiness and purpose in life, but down deep, I don't think our minds allow us to really comprehend how that could ever happen. 

The verses above remind me that if you hang on too tight, you can't create new life, but instead can destroy it. God provides trial separations for us as we travel through life as a couple. It's important to understand that learning to let go and not control those we love is one of the greatest ways to grow closer to one another.  A group from our church along with my husband left on a journey to help one of the poorest communities in the United States live in safer homes. I find myself wondering how Christ is working in their lives every step of the journey. What will they see? hear? feel? touch? taste? that is different than anything they've ever known before. I believe that Christ will work through all their senses to change them in ways that will be forever instilled in them for future opportunities to share their faith and talents. 

This trip is a gift to my husband, and I am thankful this opportunity has come his way. Although, I won't be  traveling with him physically, I will receive many residual gifts from this trip. The first is knowing that my husband is building his skills doing something he loves to do: working with his hands to build and rebuild homes to help others. I also know that he will grow in friendships with others on the trip as together they grow in their faith. I also know that this is a sign to me that if the time ever comes that we won't be together that God has helped him nurture Christian friendships that will be there if God calls me home before him. I feel great peace knowing that God networks him with people that will come to know and care about him. 

The week will be a bit lonely. The house is quiet, and the cat is moping because even though I picked her out at the shelter almost 4 years ago, she picked Jim as her "favorite" when we got home. She actually cried her sad meows this morning as she searched the house for him. I entertain myself watching ME TV. (You know reruns of all the good shows that used to be on television.) Normally, sports are the focus on Sunday afternoons. My husbands loves "ALL" sports. He's a whiz at sport's trivia. Often, I think if only I could switch to the channels I like, but instead I choose to stay in the family room with him, so we can watch it together. I guess I'd rather have my husband and sports rather than a television all to myself. Not near as much fun without his laugh and excitement over the game he's watching.

I want to love my husband recklessly trusting that he needs experiences away from me to grow in all areas of his life. So, yes, occasionally we have these little trial runs to see what life would be like without each other, and I realize that this is not a place I would ever choose to be: alone and without the love of my life. I hope we have many more decades to share our lives together, but I find comfort in knowing that every day we share together is a gift. 

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for the gift of love between two people that can last a lifetime. Help us to cherish each day and learn to turn to you for guidance. And when the day comes when You call one of them home, thank you for the network of friendships you've helped create to help them move forward in life.

Amen.

"Surely Goodness and Mercy Shall Follow Me . . . "

"Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them."~Jodi Picoult

After a few months of struggling to find words to write down, I find myself sitting here at the computer on a mission to overcome the wall that has come between my mind and my fingers that brings meaning to words and give them life. 

My first goal was to seek scripture that would inspire my heart to write. Pulling out my Bible, I found myself feeling lonely. It was as if the words I read weren't speaking to me, but rather just words on a page. It was a feeling of disconnect. I was pursuing a need for companionship with our Savior, but I didn't know how to find it.

And there it was as plain as day, arguably the most popular Psalm in the Bible: Psalm 23. It was there that I found exactly what God needed me to read to reconnect. Read the words slowly absorbing every verb.


1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever

As I read this Psalm that I've probably read or heard hundreds of times before that I came to realize that there are times in our lives when we can't seek what we need, but instead we can count on receiving what we need. 

What a relief to know that this dry spiritual valley I feel I'm walking through was felt by the Psalmist, and by so many others! God used this moment to tell me that I need not worry. He is in control, and it's okay if I just need to lie down and rest. He will take over when my own human weakness is stronger than my energy to be productive in what I attempt to do.

The quote at the beginning of this blog by Jodi Picoult has much truth to it. Sometimes the disappointments of life, send us into hibernation. We isolate ourselves from others because it's safer. It's risky trying new things, making new friends, moving forward when it's so comfortable in the here and now, and trusting that God is in control and that we are not. After all, risks can lead to big disappointments. Big disappointments can lead us to dry valleys.

I guess it's verse 6, that I find the most interesting. It says, "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life . . . ."  All the verses before verse 6 talk about God taking control, but then there it is, "goodness and mercy shall follow me." God renews us, and then His goodness and mercy follow us as he sends us out again. Remarkable when you think about it. The verses don't say, his goodness and mercy will lead me, but rather they will follow me. 

I guess there are times when our faith and soul need hospitalized by our Savior. He takes us in and cares for us, but as soon as we are well, he sends us back out into the world with renewed strength. He promises to follow us.  Maybe it's okay to need healing along our faith journey on occasion.  And when we don't know where to turn, maybe the answer is in Psalm 23. It's there in our brokenness that we find the ability to reconnect. God does it for us. What a gift to know that not only are we led through this life, but we are also followed through this life!

Healing Father,

Thank you for knowing our every need in our lives. You bless us each day by taking on our burdens when we feel weak and lonely. As you heal us, we trust that we go back out trying again trusting that you lead and follow us everywhere we go.

In Jesus Name We Pray,
Amen