Love Recklessly . . .

“Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you’ll have it forever, real and eternal."~John 12:24-25

I've been blessed to be married to a wonderful loving Christian husband for over 35 years. His sense of understanding the importance of following in Christ's footsteps are a daily reminder to me that a person who diligently tries to follow those footsteps is never alone in their endeavors.  When I come to him with worries and concerns, his eyes and advice often reflect the popular phrase, "What would Jesus do?" He has that affect on me. He helps me turn to Jesus in all circumstances.

In our conversations over the years, we've talked about the possible day when we are not together. We don't know what year, month, day, or hour this will occur, but sadly, we know that the odds of us both leaving this earth together are statistically not probable. We gently tiptoe around the discussion of how we would want the other one to move on and find happiness and purpose in life, but down deep, I don't think our minds allow us to really comprehend how that could ever happen. 

The verses above remind me that if you hang on too tight, you can't create new life, but instead can destroy it. God provides trial separations for us as we travel through life as a couple. It's important to understand that learning to let go and not control those we love is one of the greatest ways to grow closer to one another.  A group from our church along with my husband left on a journey to help one of the poorest communities in the United States live in safer homes. I find myself wondering how Christ is working in their lives every step of the journey. What will they see? hear? feel? touch? taste? that is different than anything they've ever known before. I believe that Christ will work through all their senses to change them in ways that will be forever instilled in them for future opportunities to share their faith and talents. 

This trip is a gift to my husband, and I am thankful this opportunity has come his way. Although, I won't be  traveling with him physically, I will receive many residual gifts from this trip. The first is knowing that my husband is building his skills doing something he loves to do: working with his hands to build and rebuild homes to help others. I also know that he will grow in friendships with others on the trip as together they grow in their faith. I also know that this is a sign to me that if the time ever comes that we won't be together that God has helped him nurture Christian friendships that will be there if God calls me home before him. I feel great peace knowing that God networks him with people that will come to know and care about him. 

The week will be a bit lonely. The house is quiet, and the cat is moping because even though I picked her out at the shelter almost 4 years ago, she picked Jim as her "favorite" when we got home. She actually cried her sad meows this morning as she searched the house for him. I entertain myself watching ME TV. (You know reruns of all the good shows that used to be on television.) Normally, sports are the focus on Sunday afternoons. My husbands loves "ALL" sports. He's a whiz at sport's trivia. Often, I think if only I could switch to the channels I like, but instead I choose to stay in the family room with him, so we can watch it together. I guess I'd rather have my husband and sports rather than a television all to myself. Not near as much fun without his laugh and excitement over the game he's watching.

I want to love my husband recklessly trusting that he needs experiences away from me to grow in all areas of his life. So, yes, occasionally we have these little trial runs to see what life would be like without each other, and I realize that this is not a place I would ever choose to be: alone and without the love of my life. I hope we have many more decades to share our lives together, but I find comfort in knowing that every day we share together is a gift. 

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for the gift of love between two people that can last a lifetime. Help us to cherish each day and learn to turn to you for guidance. And when the day comes when You call one of them home, thank you for the network of friendships you've helped create to help them move forward in life.

Amen.