Let Our Lives Stem from Kindness

"Do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."~Ephesians 4:30-32 NLT

Each winter, snowmobilers come out in groves along our rural highway when the snow flies. I think their eyes must light up when they hear a winter storm is on the horizon. Although, they have a wonderful time going up and down the road through ditches, yards, and across driveways, the homeowners often don't have the same feelings about their adventures. As the snow melts and is cleared, the snowmobiles often continue leaving ruts in the yards and permanent damage to driveways. What is an exciting and fun time to one is an irritation to another! We just don't always think alike.

Many biblical scholars feel that Paul was probably imprisoned when he wrote Ephesians, and that is why I find this message remarkable. Even when he is suffering, and should be angry and throwing out harsh words, he chooses to preach kindness. He isn't telling us that we don't have a right to be upset, but I understand from this passage that he's encouraging us to think about how we react to circumstances. I rarely handle conflict well. Even constructive criticism is sometimes hard to hear. (What an unusual term if you think about it; how do you construct criticism?) The problem, once again,is that rarely do two people see the situation from the same viewpoint. 

Can conflict and kindness be combined effectively? An analogy for me to think about is that kindness is more like the stem of a flower and as the flower blossoms out in beauty it draws from the kindness as it grows. So kindness is a place deep inside us that we may draw from. How we react or blossom out always pulls from this stem of kindness. So even if the conversation becomes "colorful," I want to make sure I pray for guidance to absorb kindness from the stem. If I were the snowmobiler enjoying the sledding through the snow, how would I feel?  If I were the homeowner absorbing the damage, how would I feel?  I have to combine the two ways of thinking before engaging in the conversation. Sounds so easy, but it takes courage and humility to honestly weave kindness through the conversation. Fortunately, for the moments when we fail in our endeavors, Paul reminds us that forgiveness, God's grace, is always waiting.

Forgiving and Kind Father,

Fill our hearts with kindness this day. Help us to handle conflicts in our lives with a kind and gentle spirit that reflects your image. Remind us that that we should humble ourselves at all times and in all places to seat ourselves on both sides of the conflict as we work through the problems together.

Amen.