The Father Who Loves the Unlovable

"God’s law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were. But as people sinned more and more, God’s wonderful grace became more abundant. So just as sin ruled over all people and brought them to death, now God’s wonderful grace rules instead, giving us right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."~Romans 5:20-21 NLT

Have you ever felt unlovable by a family member?  You may have many friends and family that love you, but maybe there is that one family member that you feel just doesn't love you. I have a friend who has tried all her life to be a faithful and loving daughter to a father that demands perfection and only seems to love her for the works she completes rather than an unconditional love. The more she does for her father, the more he demands of her. In his presence she has no freedom to be who she really is because he mocks her faith and belittles most every human being he speaks about. Disagreeing with him at times has caused violent outbursts which sends her into the role of the child with her father the disciplinarian. She so desperately wants to be loved for who she is, but the reality, at least in her mind, is that she is only loved for what she does. She's not perfect, but she tries wholeheartedly to please her father, but it only takes one slip of not agreeing with him and she finds herself in a firestorm of anger, hate, and abuse.

After years of counseling from professionals and support from a loving husband, she continues to try to hang onto a relationship that is one sided. It's not balanced. The counselors have told her to let go, but she can't. I often wonder why when the pain is so deep and the scars so evident it wouldn't be easier for her. She can only be who her father wants her to be when she is in his presence or the cycle of abuse begins again. Grace is not a concept the father has ever understood or cared to grant to her. She can't explain to her loving Christian friends what it's like to not be loved by her own father. She feels alone and as if there is something wrong with her that her own father can't truly love her. She begins to question if she is actually lovable, or what's wrong with her?

So how to handle this heartbreak and pain she endures? When the tears flow, I remind my friend that God's grace is sufficient and truly unconditional. God accepts the fact that we are sinful beings, but  as the verse tells us, he "brought those sins to death." He did that on the cross. He knows her heart and feels the pain along with her. He is the only loving Father she may come to know, but He is all she needs. Her faith in God has been the rock that has held her together when at times she knows she couldn't without His help.

If you have someone in your life that doesn't love you for you, that you love dearly, please remember that God knows our hearts. Remind yourself that God's wonderful grace gives us the right to stand with God and spend our eternal life with Him. Do your best to hand the burden over to God, and when you're feeling unlovable, think of the sacrifice on that cross that was for you and for me. Now, that's a Father that loves unconditionally and life with Him is eternal.

Let us pray . . .

Heavenly Father,

Broken hearts can tear us apart on the inside. I pray for those that have come to know the pain of loving a parent that doesn't return love to them. Thank You for a love that is so big and so bold that even we cannot comprehend its blessing in our lives.  In the moments when we feel worthless and unlovable, may we find refuge in Your Love for us.

Amen.

Bind Us Together

"Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful."~ Colossians 3:13-15 NIV

As strange as this may sound, when I was a young child I loved the smell of the school paste that was so readily available for classrooms in the 1960's.  I remember taking globs of glue out of the container and smearing it all over my paper so that I could paste on my cutout art pieces.  I would try to press the lumps out of the pictures, but even after it dried, it seemed that my artwork had taken on a wavy characteristic. As I carried home each piece, I was so excited and proud of what I had accomplished. I had taken something ordinary and in my mind made it extraordinary. 

Putting things together with glue is not always an easy task. If you've ever tried to put tiny and dainty pieces back on an object with glue, you know it can be a challenge. It's not easy work. It can be frustrating. 

I love the Bible verses that Paul wrote above that make me feel comforted and  uncomfortable at the same time. He writes, "Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony."  It makes me hum the song, "Bind us Together."  When we stand in a circle and sing this song with hands locked in one another, it's a great feeling, but what happens when we leave the circle?  Somehow that bonding loses something. That's where letting Christ rule our hearts comes into the equation.

Often times, it is so much easier to look at how others aggravate or annoy us than it is to think of ways we aggravate or annoy other people. We can blame it on circumstances, but when it comes down to it, it is a personal decision how we react and how we treat one another. I wish that meant we could all agree on everything. However, God created each of us unique and special, and honestly, we don't always think alike.  So, how do people that don't think or act alike bond in perfect harmony as the verse asks us to do?  

Living in perfect harmony seems to require two basic elements that are love and respect. If we are bound by love and respect, I think the verse above that says, "Let the peace that comes from Christ rule your hearts" is asking us to dig deeper. If we allow Christ to rule our hearts, we become peaceful people rather than offensive creatures. If someone tells you that they are voting a different way than you are, you focus on the love and respect you have for them rather than thinking they are wrong. If a friend's faith leads them to believe in a different way than you do, you focus on the love and respect you have for them rather than judging them.  It's that simple and that difficult all at the same time.

God does call us to be bound together. Remember the glue I wrote about earlier? You may end up with a few lumps or having to be very careful when you use glue. Things may not look quite the way you would like them to, but remember that little girl that came home with that dried wavy and lumpy artwork? It brought her happiness and joy even though it wasn't perfect. As we work to bind together as Christians, we have to remember that binding together may not always be pretty. We may have to sacrifice our pride and assertions at times for what God asks us to do. If Christ rules our heart, and we put love and respect into all relationships, we can trust that God will help us find peace within our hearts. If we learn to trust, God can take ordinary relationships and turn them into extraordinary ones. 

Heavenly Father,

As we come together in groups of two or more, remind us that you are the glue that can hold all things together. Help us to extend love and respect to all people regardless of their circumstances. We know it's not an easy task, but we trust that you will help us find peace in our hearts as we do our best to honor your teachings.

Amen.

Seeing Through God's Eyes

"The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can't see. The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd. By faith, we see the world called into existence by God's word, what we see created by what we don't see."~Hebrews 11:1-2 MSG

Christian faith is a mystery in its own way because it honestly can't be defined in a box. This faith is a personal response to a loving God that also can't be seen or narrowly defined. Often what we see, can be confused, by what truly exists. It's only when we look beyond what we see, that we really come closer to learning truth.

My husband and I are very blessed to have a wonderful neighbor that is as close to a perfect neighbor as one could have. He is one of the most kind and caring people I've ever met.  What makes him unique is he's a little rough around the edges. He's not interested impressing people, but he is interested in caring about people. Sadly, he has been battling a terminal illness for the past couple years, yet, he refuses to let it drag him down. Each day he continues to beat the odds he was given when he was first diagnosed. A clinical trial drug has been a gift to extend his life. He lives each day to its fullest. He always has a smile and friendly word to share. Recently, I was very upset when a salesman made derogatory remarks about this neighbor assuming that he was some kind of low life vagabond. The salesman saw a man a little rough around the edges and judged him by sight alone. He had no idea what this man faces each day and the journey that has brought him to this place in his life. The salesman wanted to neatly define the man by categorizing him by sight alone.

Coming to know God, is a lot like coming to know the people around us. We have to abide in faith trusting that God has created all people and things with a purpose for us to learn more about the truth of why WE exist. Each person that enters our lives has a story to tell. Whether they are homeless or a CEO, they have been on a journey to get to this moment in time. The Bible verse above reminds us that God is our foundation from which we should stand to see. As we learn to see through His eyes we come closer to understanding truth. It's a lifelong process. It's so much easier to see through our own eyes, but judgement diminishes as we stand firmly on God's foundation of truth. We come to know God more intimately as we experience living life through His eyes. The added gift is that we come to know others in ways that God knows them as well. Our own purpose in life becomes more evident in this process because our hearts and minds will be led to see the true needs and value of others. We aren't randomly chosen by God without purpose; God has chosen each of us to fulfill a purpose in His world. 

So, today as we venture out into the world, remember to take off the sunglasses, and see with the Sonshine. Often times there is so much more to see when you look through the eyes of our loving God.  

Visionary Father,

When You created this intricate and beautiful world we call home, You had a vision of peace and harmony. Help us to stand firmly on the foundation of faith and truth You have created that will allow us to see through Your eyes, hear from Your ears, and feel from Your heart. Grant us the gift of learning truth that can only be taught by You.

Amen

"Do Something!"

Paraphrasing Judges, chapter 19:25-30 a horrifying story develops as a man gives his concubine to a group of men that rape and abuse her through the night. Knocking at the man's door the next morning she collapses. The man in horror finds her body in a clump. He dismembers her body and sends 12 pieces to the 12 tribes of Israel. He says to the messengers in the last verse, 'Say to every man in Israel: 'Has such a thing as this ever happened from the time the Israelites came up from the land of Egypt until now? Think about it! Talk it over. Do something!'" MSG


Last night, I watched the movie, "Brothers," and afterward I felt deep sadness for what our troops face in war zones and how they deal with it when they return home. I thought the movie was going to be about a love triangle, and in a way it was, but not in a romantic kind of way. The human spirit is always in jeopardy of being crushed because of the evil that exists in this world. It left me with this lingering question, "How does one go on when the pain of the past haunts the present?"


When I woke up this morning, I still felt an uneasy feeling about the movie last night, and for whatever reason Judges 19 popped up when I was seeking guidance on another Biblical reference. I was sickened by the story, but tried to focus on the lesson of the scripture. God has a way of weaving lessons into our lives. First the movie and then the scripture that both seemed dark and left me feeling challenged to find ways to deal with the fact that every day people have to move on when life changing events forever change them from the outside in. 


My first instinct was to ignore the Bible reading and move on to something that made me feel better. I'd rather not think of such horrible things. But, I felt God had purpose for placing this on my heart. I thought it interesting that the man could have just buried her body and tried to move on, but instead he moved forward trying to make a point that this is unacceptable. His next words were inspiring. "Think about it! Talk it over. Do Something!"  In other words, don't sweep this sinful ugliness under the rug, but instead come to the realization of what is happening and do something to make sure it doesn't happen again. It was a strong message to wake up!


The movie last night and the Bible story reflect the dark sin of what is happening in our world. God has asked us to be His light in even the darkest corners and to have eyes to recognize where the dark corners exist. Often we would like to move on and not talk about these things because maybe if we ignore them, they will go away. But, in reality, if we as Christians ignore the darkness, we become part of the darkness because we aren't shining God's Light.


"How does one go on when the pain of the past haunts the present?" In most of our lives, there are dark and painful situations that change us and/or those around us.The truth is we need to think about it, talk about it, and as the Bible scripture said, "Do something!"  Whether you send a note of support to a vet or someone who is suffering or whether you are a missionary in a country in turmoil, everyone can do something. Each of us have purpose, and we can't just ignore the painful suffering that exists. We need to shine God's Light in the darkness.


Heavenly Father,


The darkness and evil that exist can be overwhelming to the human spirit. It's like an infection that festers and causes pain. We ask you to give comfort to those that suffer especially those that suffer in silence.  Help each of us to give support to those that are in need and to shine Your Light where darkness exists.


Amen

Dried Up and Broken

"It is God who takes water from the earth and turns it into drops of rain. He lets the rain pour from the clouds in showers for all human beings. No one knows how the clouds move or how the thunder roars through the sky, where God dwells. He sends lightning through all the sky, but the depths of the sea remain dark. This is how he feeds the people and provides an abundance of food. He seizes the lightning with his hands and commands it to hit the mark. Thunder announces the approaching storm, and the cattle know it is coming."~Job 36:27-33 GNT



The thunder and lightening last night brought about some much needed rain in our near drought stricken area. The crops and vegetation of all kinds were truly suffering, and rain was desperately needed. Our yard was scorched looking like a dried out cut hay field in late August. The weather forecasters gave small chance for anything but spotty rain, but somehow we were blessed to receive the rain that the plants needed to sustain life. 


When we awoke this morning, there were new signs of life all around our yard. Every plant in the garden seemed to be standing a little taller and looked so much healthier than the night before. Patches of green in the lawn seemed to be surfacing everywhere. Rain is something we count on, but in reality we can't make it rain. We can pray and wish for rain, but we just can't make it rain. Honestly, we have no control over it.


As I walked around the yard this morning, I thought about those moments in our own lives that we can sometimes feel all dried up and broken like the grass beneath my feet. We can't wish that feeling away. We can pray and wait patiently for direction in how to move forward because sometimes we aren't able do it on our own. Moving forward is what we want to do, but we are stricken with the suffering, and it's taken all our power and energy away.


Often times in our lives, we find that God sends just what or who we need to survive the emotional and sometimes spiritual drought we are experiencing. When we pray for help, we give all our worries and needs over to God. It's what happens next that is like the rain that saves the plants in the drought. Sometimes, it's the friend who calls out of the blue, the friend who sends a note of encouragement, the friend that calls and needs your help, or maybe it's the friend that loves you too much to let you suffer alone. Strangers appear in our lives that seem to come from nowhere that touch us in a way that changes us. Being loved and needed are ways that God sends life saving CPR (Caring People Resources) right smack into our lives like a shower of rain in a drought. 


I've been through some of those droughts, and I can honestly say that I have felt like that grass in our yard as I wondered how I was going to keep going. But, through prayer, God continues to send showers of CPR (Caring People Resources) to breathe new life into me at just the right time. He sent a spouse that sends showers of faith and unconditional love into my everyday life. Stretching me into more communities of people is often painful since I'm more of an introvert, but I've been blessed abundantly by the people I've met and what they have taught me about them and about me.


Like Job alluded to in the scripture above, we all know there are things about this world that only God knows. God's wisdom is beyond our comprehension, and He has created a world that is amazing in so many ways. He doesn't have back up plans; He always has a foolproof plan in place.  Dried up and broken is not where we want to find ourselves, but when we are, how refreshing is it that God sends exactly what or who we need into our lives to restore and rejuvenate us? Yes, that much needed rain comes in one form or another when all seems hopeless, and in an instant, new life is breathed into us. 


Heavenly Father,


Thank you for knowing our hearts and minds in ways that are hard for us to comprehend. We give thanks that you send refreshing showers of CPR (Caring People Resources) into our lives during those moments of emotional drought and brokenness. We give thanks and praise for the abundant gifts and blessings that you provide for us.


Amen

The Gift of Common Sense

"My child, don’t lose sight of common sense and discernment. Hang on to them, for they will refresh your soul. They are like jewels on a necklace. They keep you safe on your way, and your feet will not stumble."~Proverbs 3:21-23


Have you ever had one of those moments when "you've decided" that someone else is upset with you and you don't know why? They haven't said it or approached you, but somehow you're sure by something that was said, not said, done, or not done that they must be irritated with you. Often what happens next is that you begin to change whenever you are near this person. Your feelings begin to lead you to behave differently in their company. You might even find yourself avoiding that person.  Suddenly an imaginary wall has appeared and strengthened in your own mind, and you've been the sole builder. 


These verses in Proverbs remind us of how important it is to not "lose sight of common sense and discernment." Common sense tells us that if there's a problem with someone, it is best to try to figure out a way to tackle the problem head on. Discerning and praying about how to approach the misunderstanding would be such a healthy direction to take. Unfortunately, it's easier, as I know, to build walls and avoid the conflict. By walking away with ruffled feathers rather than confronting the situation head on, I don't have to physically face the conflict that mentally continues to live on in my mind. 


Friendships take a lot of work, and I think these verses bless us all with some really good advice. If we discern and pray through our problems and use our common sense, we create healthier friendships and come to value others and ourselves in a much more positive manner. I wish I could say I have mastered this practice of communication, but on occasion I still find myself retreating rather than doing what I know is right. God has given us the gift of common sense, the key is learning how and when to use it. 


Heavenly Father,


Thank you for the gift of friendship in our lives. Remind us that true friendships can withstand the storms of life if we come to You for guidance as we discern the problem and use our common sense. Grant us the wisdom to be the kind of friend to others that we yearn to have for ourselves. 


Amen

Everyone Has Worth

"Later when Jesus was eating supper at Matthew's house with his close followers, a lot of disreputable characters came and joined them. When the Pharisees saw him keeping this kind of company, they had a fit, and lit into Jesus' followers. 'What kind of example is this from your Teacher, acting cozy with crooks and riffraff?' Jesus, overhearing, shot back, 'Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? Go figure out what this Scripture means: 'I'm after mercy, not religion.' I'm here to invite outsiders, not coddle insiders.'"~Matthew 9:10-13 MSG


Last Saturday morning I was in Davenport, on my way to help on a mission project when I saw something that touched me in a very strange way. As I drove up the long Brady Street hill, I saw a long line of what seemed to be homeless and poverty stricken people waiting to give plasma. They were waiting for the plasma center doors to open so that they could earn a little cash. 


I started pondering the idea of how sad it is that the poorest of our population stand in line to donate plasma for a few dollars. But, then as I prayed about this I came to see it in a different way. God always provides in ways we cannot see. Sadly, people around the world need plasma for any hope of surviving particular illnesses. The general population has very few people willing to donate plasma for free. The poverty stricken are lifesavers for the sick and weak. The poor earn money for food to sustain life while the sick are blessed with the lifesaving plasma. Each are cared for in a very special way.


When I read this scripture, I thought about how often people don't see the worth in those considered to be riffraff in our society. The Pharisees were disgusted that Jesus would lower himself to eat with the "outsiders." I'm guessing those standing in line at the plasma center that morning would not be people that most of us would invite to dinner. But, it is exactly these people that Jesus asks us to reach out and help. Imagine how their lives could change if they were to come to know Jesus as their Lord and Savior? Each time we make an effort to help the poor, we are inviting the "outsiders" to come to know Jesus in a loving way through us. 


Jesus entrusts us with the responsibility to carry out His mission to help others come to know Him. The mission isn't just to love and support those that are easy to care about, but rather it pushes us to find ways to help the poor and weak, even those that may be considered riffraff. If we think the poor have little worth in our society, we might want to stop and think about that lifesaving plasma they give. Everyone has something to share, and everyone has worth in the eyes of Jesus.


Heavenly Father,
Open our eyes and hearts to the "outsiders" that are in need of coming to know You in their lives. Help us bring them into Your flock, so that together we further Your Kingdom. Give and grant us motivation and courage to find ways to go beyond the church walls to be Your disciples. 
Amen