Who Are Your Friends?

"Dear friend, when you extend hospitality to Christian brothers and sisters, even when they are strangers, you make the faith visible. They've made a full report back to the church here, a message about your love. It's good work you're doing, helping these travelers on their way, hospitality worthy of God himself! They set out under the banner of the Name, and get no help from unbelievers. So they deserve any support we can give them. In providing meals and a bed, we become their companions in spreading the Truth."~3 John 1:5-8 MSG

Who are your friends? Seems like a simple question to answer, but recently during a Sunday sermon I found myself conflicted about how I would answer it. This question has haunted me for the past couple of weeks. The dictionary definition of friend is quite broad. It can be as simple as an acquaintanceship to someone you trust. Trust is at the core of lasting friendship in my life.When others check out my Facebook page, some may conclude that I must have lots of friends. However, I realize that within this group, I would need to use all the dictionary definitions to allude to why each person is on my "friend" list. I also find myself pondering this second question, "Who do I really trust with my inner most thoughts?" Yes, there are people from grade school to most every walk of life I've journeyed. But, how do I answer those two questions?

The American Social Review reported in the June 2006 issue that since 1985, 25% of Americans have no close friends, and the average number of close friends had dropped from four to two in that same time period for the other 75%. In November 2011, Matthew Brashears, an assistant professor from Cornell University, conducted a study that found of 2000 college students the average number of close friends was 2.03. This at an age when it seems friendships would be abundant and easily made. What's happening? In the Facebook era, you would think that we have come to know each other better than ever before, but instead we're becoming more isolated and alone in this world. Maybe it's easier to be a friend on paper or a computer than it is in real life? 

I began to evaluate by sorting my friends into groups. First, I thought about who I could count on in a tragedy. I counted six close friends that I knew I could call any hour of the day or night, and I believe they would be there. Now, with 399 friends on Facebook, that is a pretty small group. The irony is that three of the six I counted aren't on Facebook! I was questioning the purpose of Facebook connections at that point. But, then I decided to think about the group in who would act on a prayer request in my life. The numbers shot up, and I felt really blessed to have so many people that would care enough to intercede with prayer. I was starting to feel a little better about Facebook. Last, but not least, I thought about God laying the names, needs, and joys of friends that I've met throughout my life on my heart, so that I could pray for them when a post generated the opportunity to do so. Finally, the conflict and dilemma about whether Facebook had any real purpose in my life was calming within me. I could see God had a purpose to keep me connected. 

Yes, we travel along in this life meeting new people, making new friends, and learning more about life through each of them. Deep and true friendship takes a humble heart. In order to develop a close friendship, you have to be able to listen, understand even when you don't agree, care even when it hurts, love even when love isn't earned, and forgive even when you feel hurt. That takes a lot of energy! It's fun and easy to laugh together or share a Sunday pew together, but to be a real friend it takes so much more. If we can find our way to true friendship whether it be two or six, we should be thankful for the gift. We should also be thankful for those extended friendships with people that care enough to pray, hug, and love us in ways that lift us through the joys and trials of life.

The Bible verses from 3 John remind us that when it comes down to it, we are to be a friend to those around us even if they are strangers. They might not appreciate us or ever get to know us, but God knows that we are reflecting His love to others every time we extend any element of love and care in another person's direction.

Finally, I have found a little peace about Facebook friends. Yes, in some ways, some are strangers from my past, but each is a special child of God that somewhere along the way God may need me to step up and be His servant in an unexpected way. I find myself back at that key word: trust. If I truly trust God, He will use me in ways that don't always make sense to me, but in ways He needs me to be a friend to others. Reminds me of the song, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus." I guess that's the model of the most endearing friendship we can seek in our lives.

Heavenly Father,

As we strive to be a friend to others, help us understand that sometimes a friend can be a stranger or one of our closest friends. Remind us that our purpose in this world is to make our faith in You visible to others. Even if we find ourselves alone and isolated at times, we know that we have a friend in You and no one can ever separate us from Your friendship.

Amen