Power, Love, and Self-Control

"I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions." -Stephen Covey

Many weeks ago in my personal life, I was blamed for something I did not do. If you have had this happen, you know it can be heart-wrenching. My first emotions were anger and hurt. I wanted to talk to those involved and make it clear that I was not the one that had done this. But, instead, I have been involved with an ongoing conversation with God about how to handle this. If I were to state my case to the persons who accused me, I will then put another dear person in the line of fire. I have sat down and written four separate letters trying to express myself, but each letter has been shredded before mailing. I continue to ask myself, "What is the true purpose of the letter?" Each time I shred the letter, I feel and hear God asking me, "Will confronting the situation help anyone? What is your goal?"  

Confrontation is tough for most of us. For years, confrontation ended in one of two ways for me. I would either cry and walk away because I couldn't handle it, or I would allow myself to get into an angry conversation where I felt terrible about myself afterwards sending me into a depressed state. Walking away was always easiest for me. I could hibernate and try to forget what happened, but let's be honest, that is difficult to do and really doesn't work. Anger never seems to solve anything. It is like a fire starter, and fire has one purpose to take something that was and change it to something different or destroy everything that once existed. Healthy confrontation is led by the goal to find peace. So, I have started asking myself these questions about confrontation before going into it, "What is the true purpose or goal of this? Am I seeking peace?"

Paul writes in 2 Timothy: 7, "For God did not give us the spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power and love, and self-control." NRSV Maybe God's message here is that we can't always be passive, but instead we need to go to Him for the power, love, and self-control to handle our lives in a way that brings Him honor and praise. For now, I am praying for God to give me the wisdom to trudge forward. I want to address the situation in a way that honors God in my thoughts, words, and actions. I will seek the power, love, and self-control He is expecting of me. As I move forward, let me be a product of the decision I make with His help rather than a victim of my circumstances.

Let us pray,

Gracious Father,

Help us seek Your purpose in all that we do. Guide us with wisdom to handle confrontation with dignity and strength. May the only power we seek is the power to be Your witnesses of peace.

Amen

Gentleness and Strength?

"Gentleness is strength under control. It is the ability to stay calm, no matter what happens."~Elizabeth George

Few people would equate gentleness with strength. The two seem to be opposites. Yet, I have to stop and reflect on those that have mastered the gift of gentleness. They exhibit strength coupled with vulnerability. I admire those who have this gift and strive to learn from their actions.

In the preschool classroom, we practice "calm" each day. As teachers, we seek calm when the children get too loud, unruly, or seem to have different ideas of how the day should progress. Together, we find strength in seeking and taking our entire bodies back to a calm reset. Deep breaths and uniting in hope to move forward together in a positive direction is really amazing to see in action. Harsh words and yelling are not needed. We need only to unite in calm through gentleness to accomplish the goal. 

In Philippians 4:5, Paul writes, "Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near." Yes, there it is: the hidden treasure. In our gentleness, the Lord is near! Our strength comes from the Lord, and when we practice gentleness we find His strength within us and guiding us. 

A pastor years ago reminded me that the Bible is the "Living Word" of God. We have all heard this, but do we stop and think what that really means? As we read and study the Living Word, it weaves its strength into our being. It can guide and shape us into more caring individuals. We are alive in Christ, and Christ is alive within us.

As we start each day, what a treasure to remember that we can find strength in gentleness.  Christ will help us find the "calm reset" whenever we stray from the path of gentleness. Christ blesses us to guide others as He guides us. Gentleness and strength are a winning combination to be a light for Christ. He is always near. 

Let us pray,

Heavenly Father, we thank you for guiding us to handle situations with gentleness. We trust that You will provide the strength we need, to be Your lights, in a world where your Living Word needs to be shared.

Amen

Life is a Beautiful Place!

"The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes." ~ Frank Lloyd Wright

When I was in my twenties and thirties, I rarely thought about the end of life. I didn't ever think about what my life would be like if my spouse passed from this world before me. Now, nearing retirement age, these thoughts do surface more than I would like to admit. As time continues to fly by, I sometimes find myself realizing that the decades of great health and carefree thinking may have passed and no longer exist. It's a new reality.

These new decades of living bring about a new love for life. I have come to appreciate the beauty in most everything from waking up to the smell and taste of the creamer flavor in my coffee to the amazing blessing of all the people my life intersects with each day. Learning to appreciate the many grace-filled moments that each day brings, has brought a new beauty to living life. Letting go of the worry about the little things that don't go right and celebrating the beauty of life changes the heart and mind. It seems the more gratitude and understanding the heart holds, the more beautiful life becomes.

Yes, there are days I feel annoyed with my own response or other's reactions, but at the end of the day, I have learned to hand it over to God and start fresh the next day. By turning it over, I let go of anger, resentment, and regrets. God changes these feelings overnight and somehow I can see differently from a new perspective about what evolved. I believe He is always at work molding me into a more caring person. Yesterday, I may have only seen the situation from my humanness, but God is helping me learn to see through His eyes.

Sometimes, we do have to let go of toxic people and situations in our lives. I believe that if you prayerfully ask God for guidance, he will guide you away from those people or things that aim to destroy His influence on your heart and mind. Leading a life filled with contentment and joy is about trusting God in all circumstances, even the tough ones.

So, now when I think about the end of life, I find inner peace. I don't know exactly what awaits in Heaven, but I do know that God has prepared a place for us to dwell with Him. In a recent conversation with my husband, we talked about our thoughts on Heaven. He told me that one thing he has no doubt about is that we will find complete peace. This brings trust and calm to my soul knowing that peace awaits. We both are assured that God will carry us through.

When Paul wrote the letter to the people of Philippi about their future lives with Christ, he included these messages written from Philippians: 3:13-15 "No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. Let all who are spiritually mature agree on these things. If you disagree on some point, I believe God will make it plain to you."

So keep looking forward and appreciating the beauty in each day. Let's allow God to help us work through the disagreements and obstacles in our lives. He can help us see life from a new perspective. This new outlook that He will provide, is a life of gratitude and understanding that a beautiful life is all about depending on Him for the peace and joy we all strive to find in this earthly and promised eternal life through Christ.

Let us pray:

Heavenly Father,

Open our hearts and minds to see the blessings of life. Guide us through this life so we, too, can be your instruments that promote gratitude and understanding among all people. May we be blessed with the peace of knowing you are with us.

Amen

You Can't Stop Joy!

“Joy is not necessarily the absence of suffering. It is the presence of God.” ~ Sam Storms

When I was a  child, I remember the joy of watching television families celebrate Christmas. I always dreamed of being in one of those families. You know, the “perfect” family. I loved to watch and even feel the joy and closeness the families shared.

In reality, each Christmas, I knew I would have to survive the storm, so the joy of Christmas could arrive. Each year the company my dad worked for would have their Christmas party just two or three days before Christmas. I will just say that my dad always celebrated too much, and when he finally made it home, the storm before Christmas would blow in with a vengeance. My brother, sister, and I would dread the storm, but we always knew it would blow over just before Christmas arrived. Somehow the family always pulled together to imitate the “perfect” family Christmas.

As the years passed, I came to trust that the joy of Christmas could survive through any circumstances. It wasn’t about me finding joy, but rather about realizing that I can’t stop joy from coming to me. It finds me even in the darkness. Mary and Joseph had a quite a long and dark trip to that dingy stable. Yet, even in a stable, enduring difficult circumstances, joy was brought into the world through the gift of our Savior.
     
Life’s circumstances are not always fair, and the storms of life can break our hearts. Even in our darkest moments our Savior will keep sending us messages of joy even if we don’t feel like receiving them. He will always be arriving in our lives in unexpected places and even when we least expect Him.

I don’t believe the “perfect” family really exists. I’ve yet to meet one. I have however been blessed to know so many families that know how to pull it together because joy refuses to let go of us and is just so beautiful! The presence of God will bring comfort and joy not only at Christmas, but all through the year. We neeed only to get to know Him better and be willing recipients of all He wants to share with us. Yes, joy is truly the presence of God.

Let us pray . . .

Dearest Savior,

Thank you for the daily joy you bring to our lives. Give us hearts to recognize your presence and guidance. Help us be your conduits of joy in other's lives as well.

Amen

Who We Are Now . . .

"God knows how much I love you and long for you with the tender compassion of Christ Jesus. I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return."  Philippians 1:8-10 NLT

It happens every five years; the class reunion. The class reunion tends to bring about many different emotions. For the extroverts, it's exciting and fun to see everyone again! They laugh and reminisce about the great times they've shared.  The introverts, debate until the last minute if they will attend and possibly struggle with the fear and possibility of sitting alone in the corner while watching the extroverts enjoy the evening. Yet, the invitations lay on the counter of both the extroverts and introverts, and something deep inside entices and encourages most from each group to want to reply with a heartfelt yes. 

The one thing that both groups have in common is the want to be a part of a community. They want to be integrated into something bigger than themselves. They want to explore the world through the eyes and experiences of those that shared those high school halls together. In reality, I think most would like to sit down and listen to the journeys that have transpired in the years that have passed. Commonality and transparency of who they are now and how they got there would make for great conversations.

Brandon Heath sings a song called, "I'm Not Who I Was."  He is having a debate with God about where he was, the journey along the way, and where he is now. Two excerpts from the song go like this:

"I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wondered if you ever loved me
Just for who I was"

"I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was.."

Maybe the real gift of class reunions is remembering who we were, the journey we've traveled, and the blessings of where we are now. Maybe it's an evening to share a little bit of all three parts of our lives. But at the end of the evening, what might be most important is that we all care about each other for who we are now, and together we are thankful to have shared pieces of the journey.

Our relationship with God may resonate like a class reunion. He knows everything we would like to hide away: the heartaches, the disappointments, the mistakes, the things we wish we'd never done or said, or the struggles within that still await. Yet, He wants every reunion with Him to be special and like a new opportunity to get to know the person we've become. He might have a laugh or a few tears with us about days gone by, or tell us to leave tomorrow's worries in His hands, but what He may be most interested in is who we are now, and not who we once were.

Gracious Father,
Thank you for the blessings of those that have been a part of our lives. Thank you for forgiving all our sins of yesterday, today, and tomorrow as you love us for who we are now in this moment.
Amen

If you would like to listen to Brandon Heath's song, here is the link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1ZgtCRO-KY

Looking Back . . .

Dear friends, use your most holy faith to build yourselves up even stronger. Pray with the help of the Holy Spirit. Keep yourselves safe in God's love, as you wait for the Lord Jesus Christ in his mercy to give you eternal life. Help those who have doubts. ~ Jude 20-22 ERV

The year 2016 is coming to a close and so often many of us journey down the memory lane of what the past year has brought into our daily lives. We look forward with anticipation and wonder of what the year ahead will deliver as we walk into the unknown.

A few years ago, I decided not to focus on only the year that had passed, but rather my life as a whole. I think of that young teenager filled with anxiety and depression and the strides she made to be healthy and whole. Little did she know that her life had been given one incredible gift that would lead her to a life she never dreamed of: the gift of faith in God. God had been there loving, teaching, and guiding. This one gift had the capability to show her that a life filled with joy and love was in plain sight, if only she trusted and had faith. 

Did that young teenager and maturing adult make lots of mistakes and cry many tears? Absolutely! Does she still? Yes, but these moments are now coated in God's Grace. This Grace comes along like the icing on the cake. When you give your best to bake a cake and it doesn't turn out the way you planned, somehow God's Grace comes along and reminds you with a little frosting, the mistakes inside the cake aren't really what is important. It's what you learned that will help you make a better cake next time that makes even the most messed up cake worthy of your time and effort. It's about forgiving yourself, too. God believes you can do better and He will help you believe that, too. It's about moving forward.

"Looking back" is a reminder that God has blessed us with a future that we are living each day. That in itself is a gift beyond measure. So, as you look back at 2016, take a voyage farther back in time. Your life, like mine, is being loved, taught, and guided with a God that always believes in us in all circumstances. My goal for 2017, is to please Him through my thoughts and actions. And on those days, when things don't go as planned, I will sit quietly covered in God's Grace knowing a new chance awaits me to diligently strive for a better tomorrow.

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for the daily treasures of life that You provide. As we move into a new year, may we be reminded that You are with us and counting on us in all circumstances. 

Amen

Deep Dark Secrets

"It's not easy letting go of someone you love. It's even harder when you know it's the right thing to do." ~ Unknown Author

I sit in church with my husband each Sunday morning with this deep dark secret. I listen to the sermons on forgiveness and loving everyone, and there I sit filled with guilt and confusion. I can't look the pastor in the eye because I know within me lies this destructive secret. I sink deeper into the pew. Can the pastor see the pain and agony that is enveloping my thoughts? 

The secret is what it is like to have lived an entire lifetime with an abusive family member who is toxic to my mental and physical being. Every time I forgive and try to move forward, I find myself in the same destructive pattern. So, how do I deal with the secret versus the Christian path I am asked to walk each day? The answer is complicated.

Often times, I find myself using this verbiage, "I haven't walked your walk, so I can only imagine how you feel." We all have our own walks, and honestly, I truly believe that relationships and hardships are so perplexing that no one can truly understand the heartache another experiences. However, God has provided us with empathy to try and understand the pain others feel. Empathy allows our emotions to visit places of the heart we may have never been or wish we will never go. It is really a unique emotion when you think about it. How amazing that God wants us to understand what others feel!

A few weeks ago,  I made a decision to sit up straight in church, and look the pastor in the eye. I hope my eyes now say, "Pastor, I have prayed and prayed over this situation. I have given my all, but I have had to hand this over to God because I can no longer handle the pain. I need to be physically and emotionally healthy, and I can no longer allow this person to destroy me. I have to let go. I can  forgive, but I can no longer set up the stage to be hurt again. Please forgive me for being unable to keep trying."

Carrying a secret is a heavy burden. The decision to let go of someone whom you love is never easy. So on those days when the pain is too much to handle, I find myself praying to God for this person who causes so much pain and asking God to help me deal with this painful decision I have had to make. Others may never understand, but God does, and I think that is what really matters. I find comfort in this verse from Matthew 11: 28, "Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."    

Heavenly Father,

You know our hearts and intentions. Please help us work through the secrets and burdens we carry. Help us to look others in the eye knowing we gave our best with Your guidance.

Amen